A Reader's Recipe to Proper Hallucination

When I was a small child, full of aspirations, imaginations, and dreams, my *insert relative* would treat me with this recipe. After playing in the fields all day, I would run back inside to our old wooden stove, and take in the fresh, familiar, and crispy aroma of my *inserts relatives* specialty. Everybody’s eyes can’t help but sweep over the precisely cut layers and take in the symmetrical markings. This generational secret not only carries varieties of meanings with every individual one, but it also surpasses all typical size, shape, and time limitations. It has been passed down through our family for generations, along with a little phrase: “Fill your eyes, fill your mind”. After the recent decease of my *insert relative*, I thought there would be no better way to remember *insert relative* than to share this recipe, in hope others find the same comfort and reminder of home that we do. Please help us continue this generational tradition.


A Reader's Recipe to Proper Hallucination

Cook time: Dependent on length, symbols, and age. Can take up to multiple months, for many hours a day.

Ingredients:

  • A book (best with only one)
  • A brain (best with only one)
  • Some belief
  • Loss of self awareness


Steps for reading:

  1. Hold a book in a comfortable position
  2. Ignore everything going on around you
  3. Stare at the lines in the book
  4. Move your eyes from left to right and top-down
  5. Move eyes to next page
  6. Finish staring at symbols
  7. Flip the page

Repeat steps 1-7 until the book is closed

While finishing steps 1-7, complete steps for understanding:

  1.   Apply phonics to symbols either out loud or in head
  2.  Connect symbols and sounds to meaning
  3.  If no meaning is found, reflect on past experiences with the group of sounds/symbols
  4.  If still no meaning is found, consult a dictionary
  5.   Keep adding word until a small, filled in circle is reached (period)
  6.  Connect meanings together into a complete thought (sentence)
  7.  Connect sentences together

Repeat steps 8-14 until the book is closed

 While finishing steps 8-14, complete steps for perception and enjoyment:

  1.   Lose spacal awareness
  2.   Add nouns and their adjectives into 3d imaginary space
  3.  If missing information, add blur to location
  4.  Animate objects using provided verbs
  5.   Lose awareness of other senses
  6.   Apply sounds, smells, and sensory details using provided symbols
  7.   Change your emotions using provided symbols

Reminder, this process only uses chemical reactions in your brain. Everything is fake.

Repeat steps 15-21 until the book is closed

 

ENJOY!!!

 

Just as a reminder, the first paragraph is entirely BS.

-Eve Anderson

 


Comments

  1. MichaelMay 11, 2023 at 2:18 PM

    Hi Eve! I absolutely love this idea of a blog post. From what I can gather, the premise is pretty simple: just a guide to comprehending and losing yourself inside a book. But the presentation as a step-by-step guide, like something I would find on WikiHow, is very creative.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kyle FanMay 12, 2023 at 6:32 PM

    Really unique post Eve! I liked the almost sarcasm you use while explaining the most basic parts of how to read a book. I always really enjoyed the experience of getting lost in books, so I'll definitely use this guide.

    ReplyDelete
  3. DizaMay 14, 2023 at 6:52 PM

    Hi Eve!
    This is a really interesting blog post, and I absolutely love the concept of a recipe for doing something that many people consider quite mundane and simple. It is both funny and creative, and a wonderful idea for the last post. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chloe N.H.May 15, 2023 at 3:54 PM

    Hi Eve! Sometimes I forget that reading really is just hallucinating at a piece of paper, so this was a funny and interesting reminder of that. Also, I think the way you did that in a recipe like format was really creative.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chizara OnyemereMay 20, 2023 at 5:13 AM

    Hi Eve, the concept of reading just being a hallucination is really interesting and I enjoyed the recipe aspect of this blog post.

    ReplyDelete

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